Change your story, change your life
Sept 27, 2024
My wife Katy and I rent a little cabin for a weeklong vacation every year. It’s right on the shore of a lovely Canadian lake and the rental includes a canoe. Even though I don’t consider myself a particularly skilled fisherman, I do love to fish. A few years ago, I met a local fisherman who is very familiar with this lake and he kindly taught me where to go, what gear to use and what techniques would work best. With his help, I was able to catch many fish, which made me very happy and grateful.
But my results have been inconsistent. Some years, I catch lots of fish. Other years, I get skunked. On the good days, I catch a fish or two and I’m happy. On the bad days, I don’t catch any fish and I’m frustrated. Our vacation during the summer of 2022 was a low point. I didn’t get a single bite, even though I had spent hours out in the canoe. This made me so moody and cranky that I nearly ruined our vacation. I just about gave up on fishing altogether and nearly sold all of my gear.
But I stuck with it and tried again in the autumn of 2023. The first day, I caught a fish and thought to myself, “OK, here we go! I’m going to have a great vacation because I’m going to catch lots of fish!” But that was the last fish to take the bait. After days of paddling and casting, I was really frustrated. I could feel my mood drop. As I noticed my chest getting tighter and tighter, I took a deep breath and looked around. This is what I saw:
Here I was, all alone on a tranquil lake, surrounded by nature including shimmering reflections, a sea of green trees, and loons swimming on the lake. It was a stunningly beautiful sight, but up until that moment, all of that beauty was invisible to me because I was so focused on my frustrations.
That’s when I realized something powerful. Up until that moment, the story that I was telling myself was that my goal was to catch fish. But really, my goal is to go fishing.
There’s a fundamental problem with the goal of catching fish. It’s a goal that I have almost no control over. Sure, I can paddle to the right area, cast the right lure and hope for the best, but I simply can not control if the fish bite or not. Yet, my happiness was firmly attached to that goal. I caught fish and was happy. I didn’t catch fish and was frustrated, moody and cranky.
When I changed the story of my goal from ‘catch fish’ to ‘go fishing’, it was like flipping a switch on my mood. I suddenly relaxed and felt a deep sense of peace and satisfaction because I had already achieved my goal. I was out on the water, soaking up the sights and sounds. The idea of catching fish suddenly became a bonus. When I challenged that story and started to tell a different one, I suddenly got unstuck. It was a simple and profound shift that made all the difference.
While there’s no single ‘right answer’ for how to change your story, here’s a simple process to try:
Realize that you're stuck.
Ask what story are you telling about the situation.
Think of other stories you could tell about that same situation.
Try telling one of those stories and see what happens.
The next time you’re stuck, give it a try and let me know how it goes. I’d love to hear your story.
In addition to keynote addresses, I offer workshops and coaching to help teams get unstuck. If that sounds like you, contact me to explore a customized workshop and coaching program.
KeynoteS and workshops
Hire DAn to give your team a fresh perspective
Over the past two decades, I’ve been fortunate to present at over a thousand events for tens of thousands of people. Here are a few of my favourite topics which can be delivered as workshops for small groups or keynotes for hundreds at a time.
-
Challenge Assumptions and Get Unstuck
What you know for certain could be exactly why you’re stuck.
The thinking, processes, and attitudes that got you where you are have served their purpose. You’ve found lots of right answers and developed systems to get stuff done. That’s great as long as things are going as expected. But these past few years have taught us just how unpredictable the world really is. Now it’s time to shift our thinking and take the next steps to succeed.
By challenging our assumptions, we can move past our preconceived notions of the ‘right answers.’ Perhaps more than at any time in history, we need to find new ways of thinking and doing things.
As always I use eye-popping magic, stories, and optical illusions as powerful visual metaphors to create a sense of wonder and astonishment. This is not only thoroughly engaging and fun, but research shows that there’s a transformative power in wonder and awe. It empowers each person in the room to apply the learning to their own lives.
Keynote or workshop participants will learn…
… how to get out of the “same-old-thinking-rut” and find new solutions
… how to identify and challenge the limiting assumptions that hold us back
… how to see the world from new perspectives so they can get unstuck.
-
The Key to Clear Communication and Compelling Leadership
Empathy is the key to creating a better world.
What if you could magically see the world through someone else’s eyes?
In our increasingly individualized society, it can be so easy to forget that your ‘truth’ isn’t universal. What’s obvious to you might be invisible to others (and vice-versa.)
With over 20 years of experience creating and delivering presentations for a wide spectrum of audiences; I understand the vital importance of seeing the world from others’ perspectives.
In this program, I use magic, optical illusions, and interactive exercises to illustrate the transformative power of empathy. I’ll demonstrate the fallibility of our narrow perspective and teach practical tools to widen our understanding of others’ needs and motivations.
This thought-provoking program will empower participants to see the world from fresh perspectives, unlocking new levels of leadership, communication, and collaboration.
Leaders, sales professionals, and anyone who works with others will learn…
…how to truly listen and ask better questions before offering solutions.
…how to overcome the barriers to empathy to create better relationships.
…how to build a bridge of understanding and collaboration.
-
Thriving Through Positive Psychology
Based on rigorous scientific research, the field of Positive Psychology is devoted to the study of what makes for a flourishing life. In this fun and informative session, I will explain the PERMAH model (Positivity, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, Achievement, and Health) and show how you can put it to use at work and home to help you not only survive but thrive.
In an increasingly complex and hectic world, people are becoming more and more stressed, depressed, and overwhelmed. Fortunately, the field of positive psychology provides us with tools to counter these trends so we can flourish.
Moving beyond the science, you’ll get hands-on experience with practical tools and techniques to help you not only survive, but thrive.
As always, I’ll use some powerful magic as a visual metaphor to illustrate the transformative power of this exciting field.
Positive Psychology is NOT ‘happy-ology’ or dry academic theory. Participants in this interactive program will learn…
… practical techniques to improve quality of life, mental health and physical vitality.
… how to identify and harness your strengths to produce better results with less effort.
… strategies to increase connection and collaboration at work at home.
About DAn
not Your ordinary wonder worker
For over 25 years I’ve used magic to captivate and entertain at corporate and private events across North America. I’m proud to say that I’m a repeat performer at the world-famous Magic Castle (the most prestigious magic venue in the world). While all my magic is family-friendly, my presentations are tailored to engage and amaze intelligent adults. It’s not just a bunch of tricks - it’s an interactive experience that challenges assumptions and makes you think (which makes sense given that I’m also a renowned keynote speaker.)
Above all, my goal is to craft extraordinary moments without causing any embarrassment or making anyone feel foolish. When it comes to entertainment, your event's success and your guests' enjoyment are my top priorities.
Are you still reading?! Let’s talk.
I’d love to hear about your event to see if I'm a good fit. Give me a call or text at 647-345-6986, or drop me a line using this form.